Tag Archives: relationship

if i didn’t hate taylor swift so much i could use almost any of her song titles as the title for this post

1 Jul

I feel like I’m someone who writes very candidly about most topics. I love expressing my opinion and providing commentary on almost all subjects, so I usually don’t have trouble just sitting and writing. One topic I don’t really delve into, however, is relationships. This is because I have been out of the relationship-game for so long, I couldn’t even remember what anything involved in being one felt like and had nowhere to begin writing about them because of that.

However, I recently ventured back into the relationship world (albeit for a brief period of time), and now I can think of almost nothing else because the emotions I’m feeling are so unfamiliar to me now. I’ve been broken up with in the past, but it’s been so long and so distanced from who I am as a person now that I can only take cues from others on how I’m supposed to feel. I’m currently going through a breakup and the emotions are overwhelming. For a while, I actually was convinced I was a robot and had no feelings, but this experience has shown me that’s absolutely not true, and whereas before I was concerned that I didn’t have normal emotions, now I wish for nothing other than shutting them off.

I have no idea how someone is supposed to act during a breakup. I’ve seen my friends go through them often and always wonder when they know they’re okay. As I said, I’ve been broken up with before, but none of these feelings are familiar with me now. I’ve been the friend who sits and wonders why their friend can’t stop talking about their ex. I’ve sat and criticized the guys my friends dated and how crazy my friends seemed to be acting, but that’s only because from the outside, it’s so easy to judge others and tell them to move on. From the inside, all I know that all I can do is talk about the past because it’ all I can think about. And I’ve gotten to the point where I am making myself sick talking so much about it, but there’s literally nothing else I can think to discuss. It makes me really upset with myself that I’ve become this person, but there’s nothing I can do to get myself out of it. Everything reminds me of him, I can’t separate the good times from the not so good times because all I can think about is what I’m missing, not what I’ve gotten away from. All I have is my memories and he’s a memory to me now and it just doesn’t make any sense. You don’t just fall out of love because your love has walked away, and that’s the hardest thing to work through.

I don’t understand what the correct mourning period is for a relationship. I will always remember that on “Sex and the City”, Charlotte once said she heard the time it takes to get over a relationship is half the course that it ran. I really hope that’s true, because I can’t imagine going on too much longer living day by day the way I’ve been feeling. And mourning is absolutely the accurate term to describe how it feels getting over a relationship. It feels like someone has gone and left you forever and that’s it. It’s unpleasant, to say the least. What’s worse is that I attempted to get some answers and find some closure, but all I learned in my attempt was that closure doesn’t exist. I’m never going to feel better with him breaking up with me. It happened and I didn’t want it to. That’s all there is to it, and it’s discouraging.

I think because I’ve been out of the relationship world for so long, I can only grasp a concept of how to deal from television. It’s not helpful by any means, since tv shows are either completely fabricated or only slightly based on real life, and everything is cut short and abridged. It seems like people get over their exes in the snap of a finger, when really, the editors just made it look that way. Based on how I feel, I can only imagine what everyone else is going through, especially those whose relationships have spanned much longer than mine. Looking back, my relationship was basically the blink of an eye. The months we spent together flew by and now that I just want to fast forward to when I’ll feel like myself again, time could not be moving any slower. Because ultimately, that’s my real goal: I just want to feel like myself again. I know it takes time, but that’s easier to accept as a concept than to really believe. I’m at the point where I don’t know what I believe anymore and I just wish I could nap and wake up and be me again.

Life’s hard. I don’t have a helmet.
I find that referencing “Boy Meets World” always helps get me through the sleepless nights.

friends forever, but ditch the dweeb

21 Mar

I was recently looking at a list of characters on tv shows that “we all secretly wished would get together” (I can’t find the link for it, so I apologize to the zero people reading this, and you can feel free to sue me). While I agreed with many of the selections, one pairing stood out to me that made me sick. That pairing was Screech Powers and Lisa Turtle from “Saved by the Bell”. Seeing this pair put on that list made me sad and also allowed me to lose what little bit of faith I had in this world.

Lisa hates EVERYTHING about the idea of her and Screech as a couple. EVERYTHING.

Lisa hates EVERYTHING about the idea of her and Screech as a couple. EVERYTHING.

I think one of my least favorite characters to ever be created is Screech from “Saved By the Bell”. I just find that he never adds anything but annoyance to a situation, and his character is perpetually stupid and unbelievable. Obviously, “Saved By the Bell” wasn’t wasting any time trying to be realistic, but I don’t care. No one would ever hang out with Screech, and DEFINITELY not the crew on the show. Those kids were cool, they were athletes and models and had a band. Those kids would never in a million years give Screech the time a day. And even if they did at the beginning because Screech was friends with Zack when he was younger, they would very quickly grow out of being his friend and start ignoring his annoying ass. They probably spent more time being pissed off at Screech about some stupid shit he did than they spent actually enjoying his company. What was there to enjoy? He sounded and looked stupid and always found a way to mess literally everything up (don’t care if I’m using “literally” in a hyperbolic sense here, it’s almost a true statement).

Oh my god I want to cause him bodily harm.

Oh my god I want to cause him bodily harm.

What demon created you?

What demon created you?

Seriously, he does not belong with this group of hotties. That random old guy makes more sense hanging out with them than Screech does.

Seriously, he does not belong with this group of hotties. That random old guy makes more sense hanging out with them than Screech does.

Now, let’s talk about Lisa Turtle. Lisa was entirely underappreciated on the show. She was on a list of annoying characters on some website I was looking at (can’t find that link either, you can all suck it), and I don’t understand how she made the list but Screech didn’t. Lisa was a fashionista, she was cute, and she always had all the hot gossip. However, this girl did not get her dues. She was always paired off with Screech, despite her disdain for him. She always got the shaft, while Kelly and Jessie were off hooking up with Zack and Slater. I don’t understand why. Obviously, Kelly was a babe and Jessie had that glamazon thing going on despite her horrible wardrobe, but Lisa was a total package and none of these guys ever realized it. I just felt bad for her.

Girl knows how to look GOOD.

Girl knows how to look GOOD.

I guess Jessie needed more attention from guys because she had that crippling caffeine pill addiction that one time.

I guess Jessie needed more attention from guys because she had that crippling caffeine pill addiction that one time.

There was one episode in like the last season where Lisa and Zack make out, but that romance fades before it even begins, and it’s just unfair. The two of them totally should have gotten together for real. She deserved it. Zack was a fox and she was a high-class woman. Lisa Turtle didn’t need to be thrown to the side at every turn and be stuck going as Screech’s date to the movies or to the dance. You can tell that Lisa more than anyone didn’t even want to be Screech’s friend, and I think she should have gotten her way and just stopped hanging out with him. It was almost forceful the way she had to hang out with him, she didn’t even pretend to enjoy his company. And I love that about Lisa. A girl after my own heart.

The good ol' day. Singular. One day.

The good ol’ day. Singular. One day.

More than I love Lisa Turtle, I just really hate Screech. I don’t watch the show as often as I once did (I was watching for two hours every day like two months ago), but I will never lose my hatred for Screech. He was probably genuinely funny one time on the entirety of the show. There was an episode of “Saved By the Bell: The College Years” (I’ve seen every episode multiple times for some reason), in which he steals a girl away from Zack. Excuse me? We’re supposed to believe that would happen? Not only is Zack foxy as shit AND a smooth motherfucker, but Screech is awkward and consistently obnoxious. WHO WOULD WANT THAT IN THEIR LIFE?  Not me, that’s for damn sure. There was an episode of the original show where Kelly thought she had feelings for Screech, and that really just embarrassed me more than anything. Poor girl, all mixed up. So embarrassing. Thankfully she came to her right mind and obviously ends up with Zack, but that was a really terrifying lapse in judgment for that one episode. There’s almost no coming back from that.

I don't think it's even possible to compare these two, they're essentially different species.

I don’t think it’s even possible to compare these two, they’re essentially different species.

Ultimately, Lisa should have gotten shown more respect by the writers and by her friends and Screech should have been kept at a far distance from her (and everyone, really) at all times. Preferably underground. What I’m saying is Screech should have been killed off. That would have solved everyone’s problem. Or mostly mine, but really, I’m selfish and I should get what I want, no questions asked. I really don’t think the show would have changed in any possible way if Screech was no longer there, except maybe we’d have less episodes with entirely asinine storylines devoted to him. The world would really be a better place today if that could have just happened.

A little bit tighter there, Zack...

A little bit tighter there, Zack…

just the deadliest snatch

21 Mar

If there is one thing I am more sick of than knowing about the fact that Rihanna is back in a “committed” relationship with her abuser, Chris Brown, it’s the fact that I read about their relationship on a daily basis. My nemesis, Perez Hilton, is continuously updating the public on what is happening between the two, and also what is happening between Chris Brown and other women, because apparently there are multiple women dumb enough to be interested in that piece of shit.

When I think about their relationship, I continuously lose respect for Rihanna and I just hate Chris Brown more and more, if that is even possible. I have thankfully never been in a situation where I have been domestically abused, so I know that I cannot possibly know what happens to one’s psyche after an experience like that, but I just can’t help but get mad when I think about the fact that Rihanna would be with someone and continue to love someone who seriously almost killed her. Not only that, but he brags that he will always “own” Rihanna because she is “sexy as fuck”. That’s really respectful, definitely seems like a person you’d want to be involved with.

Chris Brown is really just the shit under my shoe to me. I do not think that he is talented, so I don’t understand why he keeps getting any recognition from the music industry. His career should absolutely be dead. Instead, Rihanna’s career is going to suffer more than his, because she’s the one who took him back. How about we just shun him so we never have to hear him speak or look at him again? He’s a second-rate Usher, not as talented, and he can dance, but that doesn’t make me want to listen to his music, which sounds like everything else out there today. And do not get me started on the tweets he sent to comedian Jenny Johnson. While she clearly came out on top, he just showed the world YET AGAIN, that he is still a misogynistic piece of shit who has learned nothing from what he’s done. I just have absolutely no respect for someone as lowly as that. Chris Brown is just like a bratty child who thinks he can do whatever he wants and there will be no repercussions for his actions. Based off of his sentencing or whatever for attacking Rihanna, which was really minimal, I’d have to say that unfortunately seems to be true. Stupid little shit gets to go on being a dick and continues getting everything he wants and then some more. It’s disgusting.

But, what I really wonder about when I think about them together and knowing that Rihanna has said recently in an interview that she would like to have babies with Chris Brown, is what the fuck is she going to tell her children when they inevitably find out what daddy has done to mommy? And their union would not just be a regular, run of the mill, average mommy and daddy; they are a celebrity couple, always in the public eye. These poor children are going to know every detail of what happened between their parents, and what is Rihanna supposed to tell them about it? That mommy somehow forgave daddy for almost killing her? That daddy says misogynistic and hateful things because he’s ignorant and doesn’t know better? I don’t like the idea that people automatically make celebrities out to be role models just because they’re in the public eye because unless you’re on the Disney channel, I don’t think that should be a requirement. However, this is just ridiculous. Rihanna is basically saying that it’s all right to take back someone who almost murdered her because she loves him. That’s just terrible, that makes it seem like everything Chris Brown has done to her is all right. And then Chris Brown wants everyone to forget about what happened. Well, Chris, why don’t we think before we act and then we won’t have to continuously discuss how you’re the shittiest person to ever exist and you’re almost a murderer? It just seems like he acts and then later gets mad at people for not forgetting what he’s done. He’s just stupid.

But back to this “role model” thing. If you’re planning to have children with someone who has brutally beat you, it just seems irresponsible. It’s not like these children would be accidental at this point, so you are signing on to be their guardian and teach them right from wrong. Will Rihanna be teaching her children that what daddy did is wrong? Or will she allow them to live in the Chris Brown bubble, where they are told to forget everything he did and move on? Either way, I’m grossed out by the idea of the two of these people procreating. I’m more grossed out by the idea of Chris Brown procreating in general. One of him is more than enough. There is no need for us to have more of that mediocre hack.

Really quickly, I’d like to add that I think it’s repulsive that any celebrities have encouraged these two singers getting back together. I feel like Oprah publicly did, not in the exact words of saying “Rihanna and Chris should be together”, but she made a comment about Rihanna doing what she feels she needs to do and it’s her life or something. Just add this to the list of reasons why I hate Oprah. I also dislike that Jay Z was the one who suggested they collaborate on those shit singles “Nobody’s Business” and “Birthday Cake”. Also, I think it’s repulsive that there are girls out there who say they would let Chris Brown beat them up if he kissed them after. I am so nervous for the future generations to come, who instead of being taught about violence against women are learning to laugh and make fun of it instead. It’s just disgusting, and I can’t handle it.

So those are just some thoughts on Rihanna and Chris Brown’s unfortunate excuse for a relationship. I hate everything about it.