Tag Archives: new york

i need to get my frank sinatra playlist in order

15 Apr

As much as I like to think of myself as a realist, I think I have to accept that my thoughts lean toward those of a pessimist point of view. The proverbial cup tends to be neither half full nor half empty, but instead, almost entirely empty. I like to pretend that I think this way because it’s the most realistic approach, but really, I think I’m trying to fool myself into thinking I’m less a miserable human being than I really am.

But despite my affinity for thinking the worst, I have some impending new life changes on the horizon that I am actually actively making myself think positively about, lest I have a panic attack every twenty minutes every single day. I am planning to move in June to New York with my good friend Lauren (check out her blog, suckers. She’s on this site, too. There’s a chance she’s the only person reading this entry. There’s also a chance she’s not reading it at all. Let’s hope for the best) to get the hell out of Massachusetts and try something new to further our lives. They’re pretty bleak in Watertown. If I stay here too much longer I might explode. I actually assume my body is going to explode at some point, but it would be so much more eventful if it happened in the big city (da big apple lolzzzz).

I want to take this time to make a special shout out to my palz Steph and Liz; Steph who was my roommate soulmate when we were paired together in London and Lauren and I will also be living with once we move, and Liz, who was one of my roommates in Amherst last year but is now in New York, and I cannot wait to live in the same vicinity as again. Both of them make the thought of the move even more exciting. Moving with Lauren does, too, I guess. Lololololzzzzz #BadassBitch #LuvMyGrlz

Now to be serious and genuine on this blog for once in my life. I’m looking to get into television production. Ideally at some point I would love to write for television, but for the time being, I’d be more than happy working my way through the business and would be ecstatic just to be a part of it. My biggest passion is probably television and I don’t care how sad that makes me sound, it’s what field I want to be involved in because I feel like it’s what I am destined to be a part of eventually. I’m twenty-two, this is the best time for me to go. I’m young enough where even if I totally fuck up, I have time to figure my life out. I like having that option. It’s scary, but also amazing.

I am also at the point in my life where I need a change of environment. Living at home is not a problem because my parents are overbearing or anything, I really get a lot of freedom here. It’s the fact that I’m twenty-two and I lived away for four years and am not used to being here anymore. I shouldn’t be in Watertown. Aside from family and (roughly four) friends, there is nothing here for me. It’s time for me to leave the Boston area and go somewhere new that has more opportunity for me. I’m really looking forward to the change and I really think I need it for my mental stability and wellbeing. I don’t know if you all (all zero of you) have sensed it, but I’m more on the crazy side than the sane side, and I’m hoping to maybe even that out a bit more if I’m somewhere else.

Also, my favorite place that I have ever lived is London. I never thought I would see myself as someone who would love to live in a city, but ever since I came back from there, I’ve missed being in a big city so much. Sure, Boston is a city, but it’s too small for me. I need somewhere bigger, with tons of boroughs to explore. I don’t need a square I can walk from destination to destination in. The second I got to Piccadilly Square in London, I immediately thought of Times Square. The more I went around London and then later went around New York, the two reminded me of one another. I think that New York will be a great London substitute since I can’t make my way back there (as of now, it would be amazing if I could eventually live there again, but who knows what’s gonna happen in life? I ain’t a psychic or nothin’), I might as well be as close as I can be here in the states. I think that’s something I need.

So, because of my excitement over the idea of being somewhere new, I need to keep my thoughts positive. I know how difficult it can be to survive in the city. But, I can’t focus on that. Sometimes, when I’m trying to fall asleep at night, I can’t stop thinking about money and moving and costs and jobs and everything that a person is supposed to worry about when going through a transition like this. And whenever I do, I feel entirely anxious, I want to cry and I cannot shake the feeling. I’ve learned that thinking positively really does make a difference, despite how much I hate optimists (sorry about how horrible that sounds, but I just think they’re so unrealistic and I don’t like inspirational quotes. They have no place in my life), I know I need to remain optimistic about the move to New York or I will absolutely lose my mind and not be able to function for probably a solid week. And that would get me nowhere. Because all that’s keeping me here now is the fact that I’m making money for my move and I can’t do that if I’m not functioning. I need to be at least partially functioning in order to get some dolla billz. I never thought I’d be someone to keep her head up so much, but hey, I guess that’s just what’s going on now. Hopefully I can someday soon return to the self-deprecating, self-loathing, mentally unstable pessimist we all know and have come to ignore. But for now, I guess I’ll keep thinking positively and listen to “Baby Don’t Cry”, both parts I and II, by Tupac to get me through life.

I suggest you all listen to Tupac regardless of your life situation. 1 luv.

Oh, also, I’m going to Governor’s Ball and I am pumped as fuck about that. Our move to New York coincides with the weekend of Governor’s Ball (for the most part), so that just makes me doubly as excited to get to June and be in New York. Good things on the horizon, people. Good things.

Again, listen to Tupac. He speaks some powerful words.

the rise and fall of “girls”

21 Mar

WARNING: Spoilerz ahead!!!

When “Girls” premiered last year, I was immediately on board. From the first preview of the show, I knew I needed to see it and that I was going to fall in love with it. I was correct; I did love the show and watched all of the episodes multiple times. Obviously, the show drew connections to “Sex and the City” before it even premiered, as they are both based around four white women in New York. However, as someone who loves “Sex and the City” but gets extremely angry whenever Carrie’s lifestyle isn’t explained and she’s somehow not always on the brink of bankruptcy, I was interested in seeing how “Girls” would tackle living in New York more realistically.

Sorry, totally irrelevant, but I just need to remind people that Carrie Bradshaw once wore this outfit.

Sorry, totally irrelevant, but I just need to remind people that Carrie Bradshaw once wore this outfit.

The show did not disappoint in the first season. Aside from one or two episodes (aka when Hannah went home, I just didn’t get it or like it, and then the entire season finale which just didn’t make sense to me), I was hooked and dying for January so the show would come back for the second season. I wanted to know what was going to happen with these four women who were surely going to be going through a myriad of changes in their lives.

The good ol' days.

The good ol’ days.

Well, I had high hopes for the second season, but they all went to shit. I found myself increasingly angry with Hannah as a character, wondering where Jessa was, wanting Marnie to stop existing because everything she did made me uncomfortable, and wishing that more had happened in the episodes, because seriously, not much was happening in these episodes. There were only a total of two out of the ten episodes this past season of “Girls” that I actually liked, and I feel that’s never a good thing. Where last season I found Hannah funnier and more relatable, I found myself thinking that Lena Dunham was making it her personal mission to make Hannah as unlikable as possible. The episode where Hannah stayed with that doctor she had just met for the entire weekend solidified my hatred for her. I just did not want the show to revolve around his character, but I knew that I was stuck having to deal with that. I hate that they decided to give Hannah OCD with three episodes left in the season. I understand that OCD can go away and come back depending on life stress situations, but really? No mention of it AT ALL? And then all of a sudden, it’s this huge deal? Like, no. That just made Hannah more annoying. Add another annoying quirk to her already loathsome character. Also, Hannah puncturing her eardrum with the q-tip and then doing it again knowingly to the other ear made me physically ill, I just hated every moment of that experience.

Season 1 Hannah: totally relatable

Season 1 Hannah: totally relatable

What bothers me also is that Hannah went from being relatable to just being flat out pathetic. You can tell that Hannah thinks she is incredible, despite what she had said about herself in the first season, and it’s just frustrating. I did not need to see her yelling at Marnie that Marnie is the bad friend because she had sex with Hannah’s gay ex-boyfriend. Like excuse me? Your gay ex-boyfriend? Really? (Also, I hated that storyline in general because that just does not happen in real life, gay men do not just randomly hook up with straight women because they’re both attractive). That was pathetic of her. Hannah is no prized friend herself. And when she told that doctor man that she is “too sensitive” and “too not crazy”, I wanted to tear my eyes out. Hannah does this thing where she is pathetic and annoying and so extraordinarily needy, and then when she is finally called out, such as in the last episode in which that junkie downstairs yelled at her for having terrible insides and being a horrible person, it didn’t matter and she didn’t need to learn anything from his words, because she ultimately got what she wanted. And the show became a Meg Ryan movie for like five minutes, which was just not up my alley.

What also bothered me this season is that every man Hannah came across just wanted to make out with her or have sex with her. I am aware that Lena Dunham faces a lot of criticism about the way she looks, and that is not what I am commenting on here. I don’t have an issue with the way Hannah looks, aside from thinking that she dresses very unflatteringly. My problem here is that not every guy you meet is just going to want to have sex with your or make out with you. That just does not happen. Sometimes, a guy will just say “no, I would not like to make out with you”, and that is that. Life moves on. It’s just so frustrating to me, and it literally happened like four or five episodes in a row for Hannah. That is just not life.

My favorite characters on the show are Shoshana and Jessa, because I find them both hilarious. However, Jessa was almost non-existent this season. I understand that Jemima Kirke was pregnant, but I really just missed her. Also, we finally got an episode where Jessa shows her vulnerability, after breaking up with her husband, and then that is taken away from us. If anything, I would love an episode devoted to Jessa that looks into her further. And I’m not talking about the episode where she visits her father and Hannah randomly fucks her 19 year old step-brother or whatever relation he is to Jessa (for no reason whatsoever. But why wouldn’t that happen?). I mean a real episode, where we learn more about Jessa. We got an episode this season revolved around one character, but that was unfortunately Hannah. And it was my least favorite half hour of television to ever exist. Lena Dunham owes me back 28 minutes of my life.

This is what Jessa's step-brother or whatever he is looks like. Who wouldn't fuck him because of that turtleneck alone?

This is what Jessa’s step-brother or whatever he is looks like. Who wouldn’t fuck him because of that turtleneck alone?

I love Shoshana but her hairstyles were just making me upset the entire season. However, ignoring her hairstyles, I loved the development of hers and Ray’s relationship; their admittance of “I love you” to one another was tear-jerkingly adorable. However, that was taken away from us when Shoshana made out with a doorman for essentially no reason. I understand people cheat, but this was just out of line and out of character for Shoshana. It’s like Lena Dunham knows that Shoshana is a fan favorite, so she has to go out of her way to make Shoshana dislikable, as she did with Hannah. It’s just extremely frustrating to watch.

No.

No.

Stop.

Stop.

Why?

Why?

I don’t even want to get started on Marnie because I think she is legitimately insane. Also, she had some funky hair this season that I wasn’t too keen of and Allison Williams’ acting abilities are questionable. I don’t even understand if Marnie and Hannah know each other anymore, they don’t even interact. That bothers me, I want to watch the show to see the interactions between the four girls, and this season just didn’t allow that. Luckily, I gained a new appreciation for the men on the show, so that’s at least one positive. But mostly, the second season of “Girls” was, for me, underwhelming and left a lot to be desired.

But I will say that Hannah’s bangs in the last episode were ridiculous, so at least we got to witness that.

Bangs.

Vindication.