Tag Archives: nemo

shine bright like a nemo

10 Feb

Just to update you mo’truckas on my life (I’m referring to the imaginary friends I have paid to read my blog, of course), I ended up living out my dream Nemo situation. The snow stopped early enough yesterday that the roads were all right enough to travel on and the driving ban in Boston and the surrounding areas was lifted after four. Still, I knew my parents would not let me take my car out seeing as how the car is actually my mother’s and I just drive it for free (spoiled brat, sorry), so I was still limited. Thankfully, my good friend Lauren was also in desperate need of drinking and getting away from her family, and we had ourselves a good old fashioned sleepover, full of champagne, sangria, cheap beer, “RuPaul’s Drag Race”, “SNL”, and “Wish Upon A Star”. So although I did not end up like Jack Nicholson at the end of the “The Shining” (such a bummer. Still, there’s a chance I could accomplish this task by tomorrow, so cross your fingers), I at least got to drink and watch “Drag Race”. That’s the most any underemployed 22 year old living outside of the city with her parents could ever hope for.

But I still hate Nemo and I have never had a weekend where I had absolutely no idea what to do with myself. I watched all of season two of “Portlandia”. So I guess that counts for something.

Shine on, bright stars.

Here's hoping this still happens, folks.

Here’s hoping this still happens, folks.

nemo, you’re a crafty sonovabitch

8 Feb

As an underemployed 22 year old, I am used to my fair share of days doing absolutely nothing and accepting it and even enjoying it. However, today is just unbearable. I have not even been awake for six hours yet and I am just dead bored. I cannot find anything that I want to do (that I am able to do with my limited resources) that seems appealing or even slightly interesting. I never feel like this on the weekend or when I get a day off in the middle of the week, but something about the fact that there’s a blizzard outside stopping me from even taking my car and leaving my home (Deval Patrick declared that anyone caught driving after 4pm would be fined. And I have no sled dogs or sled, so I’m stuck unless I walk somewhere. But where would I even walk? Nothing is open, I’d assume) is really just making today unbearable for me. Also, side note, how fucked is it that I’m actually upset that I can’t drive my car? Usually I beg for days when I don’t have to get out on the road and put myself and millions of others in danger of my driving.

There’s a mixture of that and the fact that my parents are both also home today, and it’s not a weekend, and like a little kid, this still feels wrong to me. If ┬áit is a weekday and my parents are home but not working from home, they should not be here. They should be at their jobs. I don’t know why this bothers me so much, but it feels like I have less options to just be in my house. Which is strange considering whenever I do have the day off and they’re not here, I stay confined to my room anyway. I think that it’s because on top of knowing they’re downstairs, they also insist on interacting with me anytime I go down there. By “interacting” I don’t mean having a conversation with me, I’m referring to my mother telling me that I look grumpy and my father asking me why I’m bored. If someone looks grumpy, why would you want to point that out to them and enrage them more? Wouldn’t you want to just leave them alone for their sanity and your physical well-being? I guess I’m an emotional infant, but I just still can’t process being confined to my house during the week if my parents are here.

I have so many things that I could be doing. I could be working out, cleaning my room, looking into jobs, etc, etc. However, I feel no need to do anything, and I think that’s because I feel no sense of urgency, since I have nowhere to go for the rest of the day and I can do any of these things at any time. I dislike that. Usually I get my workouts in because I cram them in between waking up and going to whatever job I’m working that day. However, today my plans are to sit in my room in my pajamas (another thing, I can’t even walk around in my underwear because my whole family is here. I’m calling bullshit on that, universe) while watching tv and complaining on Twitter and Facebook, eating, and then doing more of the former, mixed with more of the latter. It’s just strange how I guess I need the feeling of “it needs to get done now or it won’t get done at all and you’ll be mad at yourself” to get me motivated to do anything. That’s just one of the many problems with being a chronic procrastinator. Everything has to be done last minute, or it won’t get done. I need the pressure to do it, or I’ll just wither away into nothingness.

Ideally, I would love to be sitting around with some friends, watching “RuPaul’s Drag Race” (duh), and drinking wine. Also, ideally I’d be in my own apartment and not locked away (by choice) in my bedroom at my parents’ house, ignoring my family. However, these are not my circumstances. My friends are tucked away in their homes, there are no marathons of “Drag Race” on Logo today for whatever fucked up reason, nor are there any full seasons of it on demand, and I didn’t stock up on wine because I was extremely ill prepared for this blizzard. Also, my parents judge me pretty much whenever I drink, so I’m sure I would get a severe judgmental look from both of them if I were to take a bottle of wine up to my room alone. That’s what I get for leading them to believe I’m a troubled alcoholic. I really made a mistake five years ago when I let them believe what they wanted to about that. Mostly though, I’m angry about the fact that I can’t just sit around in my underwear.

So, to sum things up, long story short…

This is me.

This is me. Always and forever. But especially during Nemo.

nemo has come, nemo has risen, nemo will come again

8 Feb

Since there’s a snow storm occurring outside (named “Nemo” for reasons unknown to me. I assume it’s after the fish, but that makes it more confusing, so instead I’ll pretend it was named after my friend Emily’s cat Nemo, who is the HBIC at her house) and my work canceled for later, this would really seem like an awesome opportunity to get some great blogging time in. Alas, I have nothing to write about. I think it’s because it’s only 12:17 and I’ve only been awake a little over an hour, so I’m not stir-crazy enough yet to write anything. But, maybe I’ll keep you posted as the day/weekend goes on, depending on how snow-bound I am inside of my house. I’m hoping that this weekend plays out like “The Shining” and one of my family members decides to kill all of the rest of my family members and we play in a giant maze together. Oh, sorry, they weren’t playing in that maze in the end? They were running away from an axe murderer? Well, that could be fun, too. Hopefully it’s me who goes insane, I’m already more than halfway there and I would love to freeze to death like Jack Nicholson (SORRY FOR THE SPOILER), I heard that freezing to the death is the most peaceful way to go. Or it’s the worst way to go. I need to do some research.*

Maybe I’ll just write about “The Shining” for a little bit because that movie is sickening (I’m using “sickening” in the drag queen slang sense here, meaning amazing [amyahzing] and excessively hot). Shelley Duvall might be one of the most unfortunate looking women I’ve ever seen, I’d probably want to kill her if I was stuck in a house with her, too. That sounds cruel, let me rephrase that. I wouldn’t want to kill her because she’s ugly, I’d want to kill her because she’s annoying as fuck. Like have you heard her voice? You should probably listen to it. That’s enough to drive any man to drink, and then, yes, eventually to murder. Five G’s: Good God. Get a grip, girl.

Shhhhh

Shhhhh…just be quiet, Shelley. For everyone’s sake.

I think everyone’s favorite part of “The Shining” is when that guy is getting a BJ from that man in a bear suit. That literally could not make less sense, but it’s one of the top scenes I think everyone remembers. Also, that’s when Dick is murdered (SORRY FOR THE SPOILER AGAIN) and that’s just sad because he’s the one person willing to help this family and he also just drove a really long time in the snow, which I know from firsthand experience is no fun. Driving is the worst, but driving in the snow?! That’s really the pits. Poor guy made it all the way to the hotel, only to get distracted by a bear giving some guy a BJ and then gets axed in the stomach. Just unfair.

Haaayyyy

Haaayyyy

Another memorable scene is when Jack Nicholson macks that lady in the bathtub, but she turns out to be really old. I will not be putting up a screen cap of that, it is too gross. Not because she is old, but because her skin is like peeling off, and that really grosses me out. Instead, I’ll use this space to say that Danny’s possessed finger is my favorite character in the whole movie. He has the best lines and the best voice. I really think that him and Jack could have had a great friendship if given the chance. They could have done a buddy cop movie, or solved crimes together. Two deranged maniacs, ready to cause havoc in the big city: one’s a man, and one’s a finger, not belonging to that man. I smell a sequel!

Don't go picking any boogers with that there finger, boy

Don’t you go picking any boogers with that there finger, boy.

So there’s just some thoughts about “The Shining”. They were very insightful and analytical. This was in no way a waste of a post or of anyone’s time. God, am I lucky that no one reads this. I’d have to feel bad about wasting people time and I’d owe them back a few minutes of their lives. Instead, I just get to waste my own time and prolong my procrastination time before working out. Really, the only person I’m hurting here is me. And I take full responsibility for that.

In any case, I hope to look like this before the weekend is over.

url-28

Wish me luck!

*That freezing to death line was taken from the new Looney Toons adventures, which I suggest everyone watches because they’re hysterical. Daffy is the true star on that show.