Tag Archives: hate

it’s more the idea i care for than the actual realized version of it

13 Apr

My mother has done a lot for me throughout my life. She has raised me, clothed me, fed me, taught me much of what I know that has shaped me as a person. But, I’d have to say that arguably the best thing she has ever done for me is passing on her ridiculous and uncalled for fear of animals to me. 

This might confuse some people. It’s a good thing “some people” don’t read this blog. However, I really hate animals and I have irrational fears of them touching me, and a lot of that has to do with the fact that my mother is the same way and I learned this from her. I am by no means an animal person, and I think that this has helped me value humans more. This is interesting because I really hate humans, so let’s think about how terrible I’d be if I didn’t have animals to compare them to. This entire post will probably be the most controversial thing I will ever write because are so weirdly sensitive about their pets. I don’t entirely understand why they feel the need to defend these animals. It’s not like they birthed their pets themselves. If I insult an animal, it should really affect other people in no way. Your dumb pet is in no way a reflection of you being dumb (but you’re probably dumb, too).

People tell me that I’m not an animal person because I never had pets when I was younger. Let’s be clear: that’s untrue. I had a pet crab and a pet fish (actually two pet fish because my friend let mine die while in her care and then sneakily bought me a new one without telling me, and then I accidentally let that one die). Those obviously aren’t “big” pets or whatever you want to call them, but I was their owner, and they just happened to die because I am not an animal person. That’s actually not true, all animals eventually die, they were going to die regardless of if I was their owner or not. But aside from this, I’m happy I’m not an animal person. My mother has the belief that you should not trust anything if it walks but isn’t human. I take this to heart, and because of it, I have a heightened fear of animals even touching me/being around me/in my presence than anyone actually should.

I should also mention that I am allergic to fur (which people also see as a bias on my end, but I don’t care about biases, we all know this), and rather than growing out of my allergies, they’ve actually become worse as I’ve gotten older. I now get physical reactions in the form of hives if I sit on a couch that’s covered in animal fur or if an animal happens to touch me. This puts me in a state of fear that is extremely overwhelming. Like I actually get anxiety when I think about being in the presence of certain animals that I know have an affinity for coming up near me and rubbing against me. Or even being in a house that I know I will get a reaction from because of the dander in the air. It freaks me the fuck out (I actually freak the fuck out if I go to someone’s house and there’s an animal just walking around in general, it doesn’t even have to touch me. I just have the fear it’s going to and that I’ll die).

I sometimes am asked to feed my neighbors’ cats and this is a horrible job for a person like me, but I always do it because they pay me, and let’s be honest, what I care about most in this world is money. Anyway, this family has two cats. One of them leaves me alone and just walks away, but the other one likes to rub against my legs because it wants to be played with. I am sorry, but I’m not sacrificing my ability to breathe and not have an asthma attack because a cat wants to be played with. I simply do not give enough of a shit about the happiness of animals to do so. Also it’s summertime whenever they ask me to feed the cats, so I’ll be wearing shorts and the thought of the cat rubbing against my bare legs is more than I can handle. I once learned how to trick the cats into the basement, but the next time I tried the same trick, the evil cat HISSED at me. I was so ridiculously scared that I ran out of the house. This shouldn’t be how a grown up handles a situation like this, but my mother taught me well, so I knew to escape as fast as possible (don’t worry about that devil cat, I ended up wearing pants over instead of shorts so if it rubbed against me, it wouldn’t touch my direct skin. But I still flinched whenever it came near me. Also, I started bringing other people with me to distract the cat while I dished out its disgusting food).

What I also admire about my mother is that she, like me, doesn’t care to hear stories about people’s pets. Sometimes stories about pets can be funny, I will admit that. For example, my friend Amanda’s dog Bella eats glass a lot. That isn’t inherently funny I suppose, but the way she delivers the story is always entertaining, so she wins me over there. I guess it’s not so much the context of her pet stories, but really her line delivery. So I guess I really just don’t like stories about pets otherwise. Also, I know her dogs, so I’m more likely to have interest in her stories than other people’s. Like, if I’m in a conversation with someone else and we’re talking about human beings, don’t start telling me about your pets. Pets are not the same as human beings to me. I am SO sick of seeing people upload pictures of their pets. My Instagram and Facebook feeds really do not need to be full of pictures of cats and dogs, both of which I don’t care about and don’t desire to see pictures of. No matter how cute you think your cat is, I will never agree and I will never think it deserves to take up so much of my social media space, or yours for that matter. Oh another thing, I love babies. So if we’re talking about babies, DEFINITELY don’t start telling me about your pet. I would much rather my feeds be filled with pictures of other people’s babies than other people’s pets. Babies are everything to me. I’m absolutely a baby person, I could talk about and play with babies for hours. You can hate that about me, I don’t care, but I’ll just think you were born without a heart.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, invisible robot reading this post. “There have to be some animals you like! Like you just mentioned your friend Amanda’s pets that you already know. That’s a positive on the side of those of us who foolishly enjoy the company of animals!” You know what, imaginary friend? You are correct. In theory, I do like animals. They are fun. I love monkeys, giraffes, and penguins. I think those are my top three animals. But, it doesn’t mean I’d enjoy being around these animals. I’d probably end up crying.

But if we’re talking about domestic animals, aka animals there’s actually a chance I’d end up being in the presence of, that’s another story. I fucking HATE cats. They are the spawn of the devil, they are so terrible in every single way. Kittens can look cute, but cats definitely hate everyone and you never know what they fuck they’re thinking, and I’m convinced that what they are thinking is to overturn the human race. Stupid dicks. Hate them. I have some friends who have pet dogs that I can stand being around, but only because these dogs are docile. Aside from Amanda’s dog (not even her dog Bella, really, I’m allergic to her. More Amanda’s dog Hammy, who is chill as fuck), my friend Laura has two pet dogs, Charlie and Biscuit. I like Biscuit because he is older and doesn’t touch me, but he will sit next to me and he feels nice to pet. Also, he’s a bischon frisé, so he doesn’t have fur and doesn’t bother my allergies. However, Laura also has a dog named Charlie, and as much as she loves him, I really dislike him because not only does he jump all over me, but he also licks me. That’s actually repulsive. I don’t need you licking me, dog. I once slept over another friend’s house and was awoken by her dog licking my face and I almost threw up. I have no time for such shenanigans. I also really dislike when big dogs have too much energy and act hyper like little dogs. It’s one thing if Laura’s dog Charlie jumps on my legs because he’s tiny, but it’s another thing if a full-grown dog does the same because he can knock me over. Like, I don’t need to fear for my life that an animal is going to knock me down and then possibly continue running all over me because they have no sense of personal space. I have a bubble and you need to step out of it. It’s just rude.

I also have a fear that animals are going to poop or pee on me if I’m holding them.  This is probably irrational, but it could happen, and I don’t need that on me. Leave me alone. Let’s see, what else do I have to say about animals? I just genuinely don’t like touching them or being near them, unless they are a dog that does not have fur and can calm itself down. That’s pretty much it. I like the idea of other animals, but wouldn’t want them in my presence. Animals just smell so bad. It’s so gross. I do like memes of animals (usually cats) with imposed text over them, that does make me laugh. But this in no way means I would actually want a cat near me. Cats can go fuck themselves. Life would just be so much easier if animals weren’t ever in my presence. Also, this could be controversial, but like, no one reads this blog so who cares. I really hate it when people value the lives of animals over the lives of humans. Like I hate when I’m watching a scary movie and a human dies and someone has no response, but then a dog does and someone goes “awww”. Like, a human was just murdered. Why is the animal dying worse than the human dying? I just don’t like when people would choose saving an animal over a human. Call me cold hearted, I don’t care. Humans don’t usually make me sneeze. That’s more than I can say about animals.

It does make me sad, however, that I can never be a spinster surrounded by cats, since I would rather be buried alive than live with cats. It’s just such an easy cop out as a way to live life, and let’s be real, I’m on my way to being alone forever. But, I can’t have cats so I can’t fit that amazing archetype. I figure I’ll just be the crazy television lady instead. I’ll live out the rest of my sad life watching tv shows and complaining about them on the internet. So pretty much, I’m going to continue doing what I’m doing now, but possibly making even less money. If I don’t need a human to share the rest of my life with, I sure as FUCK don’t need a smelly animal.

Oh, also, I have an irrational fear of anteaters. Like I can’t even look at pictures of them without panicking. But that’s really another topic for another day.

For your enjoyment, here is my favorite animal meme.

For your enjoyment, here is my favorite animal meme.

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perez hilton, i wish i knew how to quit you

11 Feb

The website perezhilton.com apparently started in 2005, when I was fifteen years old. I never read the website when I was in high school, but I had known about it, honestly mostly because Kathy Griffin had a problem with Perez and met up with him on her show “My Life on the D-List” in order to confront him about rude things he had written about her on the site. All I knew about it from that snip-it on the show was that Perez wrote celebrity gossip, but was a dick about it. I was too busy hating everything and having a middle part at the time to care about checking out what Perez was really all about.

I didn’t start actually reading it until I got to college. By freshman year, I still hated everything (and still do to this day, bless my little soul), but I hadn’t had my middle part for a good three and a half years, so it was time for me to check out the site since I was looking for new ways to procrastinate. I really did enjoy perezhilton.com when I first started reading it. Perez was actually pretty entertaining and I loved the celebrity gossip I was getting. He was kind of a bully and a bitch, but I mostly agreed with what he was saying, so I was glad there was a place I could turn to that could fill my need to read extremely judgmental and unapologetic blogging.

However, somewhere around this time, Perez decided that he was done being a bully. From what I remember, this was because he is gay and teen suicide due to gay bashing and bullying unfortunately became extremely popular, and Perez realized that he was part of the problem, since he bullied celebs by writing about which celebrities needed to come out of the closet and referring to “celebrities” by rude nicknames, such as when he called Rachel Zoe “raisin face” and Rumer Willis “potato head Willis”. Perez was ready to turn over a new leaf, and I decided to join him for the ride, only because I still was genuinely interested in reading whatever celeb gossip he had to shell out my way.

Guys, I don’t want to sound like a dick, but I have to say it: I prefer Perez as a bully. I don’t know who the fuck he’s trying to fool now, but I hate everything about his website. There is literally too much wrong with it for me to even try to start listing. But, I will obviously write out some examples for you zero readers here, I am first and foremost a journalist (no I’m not). So here we go.

Perez thinks that he is close and personal friends with like half of the celebrities he talks about. Now, I don’t actually know Perez in real life (thank God), but I’ll have to assume that this is not true. He used to make a living (I don’t know if he actually made a living doing this, but I don’t care to look it up either) insulting 3/4 of Hollywood, so why would they want to be friends with him? The only way to keep people as your friends when you talk shit about them constantly is to do it behind their back, which Perez clearly wasn’t doing. I should know since that’s how I keep all of my friendships going. But seriously, the way he writes about celebrities, you’d think that they’re all sucking his dick on a constant basis, since he has nothing but love to send out for all of them. Well, celebrities aside from Lindsay Lohan, but really, there’s no defending Lindsay Lohan. Except that Perez tries to act like he wants her comeback to actually happen, which I think is bullshit. I think everyone loves her train wreck of a life the way it is. I think she is purely existent at this point as a beacon of hope for everyone else in the world that although life may seem bad, it will never be as bad as Lindsay Lohan’s life. Also, he acknowledges that Chris Brown is an extremely shitty person (quite possibly the shittiest person to ever exist), but he continues to write about him in articles that focus on his music or his career. Like, let’s never discuss Christ Brown unless we’re discussing what a genuinely disgusting excuse for a human being he is, rather than further perpetuating his career. I don’t even understand why he still has a career. I hate everyone who thinks he is talented. He isn’t. There will always be someone who is more talented and better at whatever it is he does than Chris Brown.

We all know my hatred for Taylor Swift, and Perez talks about her as if she’s a goddess and everything posted online about her is written by mean bullies who want to make her feel bad. Like, actually probably not, the people writing about her personal life are doing exactly what you do now still, but used to do better. They’re telling it like it is. No one but Perez seems to be making excuses for Taylor’s boy-crazy antics, and I hate it. He’s further perpetuating that she’s the virginal role model that we all need in our lives, when she’s really just slut-shaming on all women who aren’t her through her lyrics. I’m sick of her and I’m sick of Perez blowing more smoke up her ass when what she really needs is to go away and take a nap for about ten years.

I honestly think that I hate Taylor Swift and so many other celebrities so much more than I should because Perez posts about 17 articles an hour about all of them, giving all of the details of everything he has just learned about them in the last twenty minutes. I don’t need that many articles about whether Taylor dumped Harry Styles or he dumped her. Just tell me they broke up and that she’s a completely miserable mess now and I can carry on, thanks.

But sorry, my apologies, this isn’t supposed to be about my disdain for Taylor Swift, this is supposed to be about my disdain for Perez Hilton. A huge issue I have with Perez is his website in general. At this point, Perez does not do all of his own blogging, and I actually don’t even know if he does any of it anymore. He clearly has a team of people who work for him, as they always refer to him as “we” instead of “I” in articles. It’s extremely annoying and I hate it, but this brings me to my point: This is one of the worst edited websites I have ever seen in my life. I don’t think anyone who works for him knows how to spell, and I also do not think that they know proper grammar. I kind of think that no one who works for the website has a basic knowledge of the English language. I was an English major so I’m a nerd about editing. But you would think that at this point in the game, Perez would hire someone who could spell words correctly and would know when to properly insert a comma into sentences. Also, along with the editing, the articles themselves are written in the most obnoxious ways possible. Perez and his team clearly think that he is really alternative and fabulous, but really, I would have to assume he’s not. They always write things like “on Taylor Swift’s AH-MAY-ZING new album” and “ch-ch-ch-check out this HIGHlarious clip!” Like, shut up. How about I don’t? How about you stop writing like that? It’s bothersome.

Along with this obnoxious brand of blogging, the website also puts literally any piece of information out there for people to read as fact. According to Perez, no two celebrities can hang out without being an item. Miley Cyrus, who has been engaged to Liam Hemsworth for some time now, was recently spotted in a car with Ed Westwick. SOUND THE ALARM, that must mean she’s fucking him! Miley herself sent out a series of tweets to Perez letting him know how irresponsible and insulting it is to her and her relationship that he do this. I was so extremely happy that she did this because I get pissed whenever I read any of his headlines about two celebs spotted hanging out. Clearly, they can’t be just friends. Also according to Perez, a celebrity who is in a relationship can’t spend any time alone, otherwise they must be miserable and really sad. Like, really? Someone can’t just go grab lunch by themselves? They have to miss their boyfriend? It’s extremely frustrating to read article after article of this shit.

Another thing that pisses me off about the website is that Perez has decided to not be a bully, yet he’ll be the first person to point out when a celebrity looks like shit, or if it looks like they had work done, or if it looks like they’re pregnant. Like, if they didn’t have work done and they’re not pregnant, you do realize that that is insulting, right Perez? As someone who has never been pregnant but once had a child ask if I was with child because I was wearing an unflattering top, I know how unhappy one can feel after hearing such an accusation. So, Perez, how about instead of just saying that people shouldn’t bully and everyone is beautiful, you stop being an secret dick and just practice what you preach? Also, he recently posted an article about it looking like Miley Cyrus cuts herself. What bothers me is that Perez acts like it’s okay to just throw out accusations like this, not realizing how it will affect the person he writes about. Maybe Miley used to have a problem, but how about we don’t address it if she doesn’t because it’s none of our business? No one is allowed to have any secrets, I guess.

This all just makes me think about how a few years ago, Perez called Will.I.Am a “faggot” because he was mad at him and “wanted to call him the most insulting thing I could think to call him”. So, apparently because Perez is gay, and he knows how horrible it can feel to be called such a word, he has the right or something to use that word to bring down someone else. It just made no sense. Now whenever anyone drops that gay-hating slur, Perez is first to jump on their back. But in that moment, he was fine with doing so, since he knows how negative the term is and how insulting it would be. His hypocrisy overwhelms me.

I’ve been wanting to write this article for a while, but what really got me going on it was an article I read yesterday that Perez posted about Whitney Houston’s daughter, Bobbi Kristina. Apparently, she was caught with her step-brother or foster brother, or whoever he is (I don’t know, but they were engaged at some point, so no matter what, their relationship is weird) smoking a blunt outside, out in the open. While I find it extraordinarily stupid to smoke out in broad daylight, it’s not my business and I do not give a shit if someone is going to smoke weed. Go for it, why should I care? Perez, however, acts as if marijuana is the worst thing to ever happen to the world. In the article, Perez writes “We can’t even begin to imagine what she’s going through right now, but it’s still very sad to see her resorting to this kind of behavior”. Like, excuse me? People smoke weed for tons of reasons, and it’s probably one of the safer routes they can go down. Perez acknowledges this but also assumes that weed is going to lead her to substance abuse because other family members have had substance abuse problems. Yeah, they have, but weed isn’t automatically the gateway to that, whatever anyone says. I’d rather her smoke weed than shoot up heroin. Would you Perez? I feel like Perez would rather her snorting coke and shooting up and then going out and murdering someone, than smoking weed. That is the way he presents marijuana on his website. He lets us know whenever any celebrity is smoking, and as I said, I do not give a shit. Justin Bieber, you want to smoke? Go ahead. Rihanna, keep it up. I don’t fucking care. Please stop reporting it as news.

Also, perezhilton.com posts a lot of links about how amazing Perez is and when he’s on talk shows or working out at the gym. Again, I will say it, I don’t fucking care. No one cares. I go to the website to learn celebrity gossip, not to learn what asinine thing Perez is doing, or to read misleading article headlines that have nothing to do with the content of the article, and not to take everything you say as fact, despite the fact that it’s actually essentially all speculation. You are not God and you are not above anyone else, Perez. Please, stop acting like you are, and go back to being the bitch we once knew and loved.

It’s interesting that I now realize that Perez was bitchier when he was heavier, and then once he lost weight, he decided to “better” himself. I hate when people do shit like that. I lost weight and I stayed a bitch. Just live your life and stay true to yourself, buddy. You’re not fooling anyone.

this post used to be much more relevant to my life, but thankfully, i’ve changed my ways

23 Jan

I’ll admit it: I used to genuinely like “Glee”. I guess I was a “gleek”, but that’s embarrassing, so we’ll forget I said that. As season one progressed and wrapped up, I found myself anxiously awaiting season two to premiere. Once that happened, however, I found myself confused. Nothing about the show made sense to me anymore. Everything that was refreshing about it in the beginning was growing stale.

I watched mercilessly through the entire second season and was left with mixed emotions; I was happy the season was over, yet sad because of how disappointing it was, and increasingly becoming angry because I sat through that pile of shit. So, less than enthusiastically, I watched the premiere of the third season. And you know what? It showed promise. It seemed like the show was going back to whatever roots I was under the impression it strayed away from and was going to entertain me and enter my heart yet again. However, I don’t know what happened during the third season, but what ultimately was handed to me was yet another heaping pile of shit that I was left to mourn over. I think I officially just hate “Glee” and have come to accept it.

So, with the fourth season recently beginning (I wrote this post originally in September, so yes, the new season was recently beginning), one would assume that I was not tuning in, avoiding “Fox” on Thursday nights from 9-10, moving on with my life. That’s partially true. I didn’t see the show when it originally aired, but thanks to modern technology, I caught it on demand while babysitting. So many people around me were trying to tell me that the fourth season premiere was good, that I would like it, that the new characters were good. How did I feel after I watched it? The same as I always feel: angry. Not with the show anymore, but with myself. The show is bad. I’ve accepted that. I was mad at myself because I continued to watch it and torture myself by doing so week after week. I have issues and I know that. I’m beginning to think I’m a masochist because I kept going back for more of the shit that’s being served to me. But something about the stupid show was pulling me back in and as much as I complained, I didn’t stop watching. So, I figured I’d put my complaining to good use and compile the five main reasons why I really hate “Glee”. Oh, there are so many more reasons, but I’ll try to just stick to five.

Side note: “Glee” went on a like four or five week break during the election season and that was just the jump-off I needed to stop watching the show. I quit it, cold turkey, and my life has never been happier. But, I avidly read PerezHilton.com and hate every second of it because Perez is a self-righteous piece of shit who constantly misspells words, forgets the rules of grammar, and also is just terrible at reporting everything, and “Glee” is still thrown in my face on a daily basis. So, this list still applies despite not watching the show anymore and being a masochist for it. I’m a masochist for other reasons, so it’s all good.

1)   The Characters

When the show first started, I liked the characters; they were diverse, accepting, albeit one-note, yet we were just getting to know them so this was all right. However, as the show has gone on, these characters have remained one-note. They have almost no depth whatsoever and essentially all have one definitive quality. Rachel: wants to be on Broadway. Kurt: proud gay kid. Mercedes: sassy black woman. Tina: quiet Asian. Artie: wheelchair kid. Brittany: stupid cheerleader. Not only are they completely one-note, but they’re also extreme stereotypes and walking clichés (or a rolling cliché in Artie’s case. Cue the drum set). The show is completely steadfast on keeping these characters in their molds, despite whatever storylines are created for them. Ultimately, they can all be defined by these descriptions for their entirety on the show.

What’s more annoying than these tried and tired character elements are the characters themselves. Many of them are not even likable. Rachel is extremely obnoxious. Yes, she can sing, but I honestly don’t care because she is so ridiculously annoying. What is frustrating is that all of the other characters know this and call her out on it constantly, yet they still continue to “love” her and talk to her out of school. If this were real high school, Rachel would be sitting at home alone on Friday nights, or maybe have one friend of equal or lesser obnoxiousness, and would not be invited to social functions. In this alternate “Glee” universe, however, Rachel not only has friends and is the leader of the “gleeks”, but she also dates the star of the football team. Like all right, I’ll in no way believe that.

Speaking of the star of the football team, Finn has got to be one of the most self-righteous and frustrating characters out there. Finn is not even that good of a singer, yet he gets all of the lead male parts in the glee club. That just doesn’t seem fair. He also called Santana out on being a lesbian, which just wasn’t appropriate and apparently thinks he is God for whatever reason. There was an episode where he was angry because Blaine, the new kid, was getting more solos than him in the club. Uh, yeah, that’s what fucking happens in glee club, Finn. If someone is better than you, they sing more than you do. Also, you can’t dance for shit, so what are you even doing here? Plus you called Kurt a “fag” once, and that was just mean. For some reason the glee teacher, a fully grown man (close to Finn’s portrayer’s age in real life) wanted him to be his best man at his wedding. That’s normal. I don’t get why Mr. Schu has no friends outside of glee club, but that’s really embarrassing for him. Also embarrassing is Finn thinking that him and Rachel were the hottest couple to hit the Earth. Like, I don’t care about you two. Get off of my screen. That was my thought every single time they were on my screen. Then they got engaged. In high school. Because high school relationships last forever. OH and you’re a fucking moron and thought you got Quinn pregnant even though you didn’t have sex. I just can’t even handle Finn.

So this brings me to Quinn. I had always been a Quinn fan. I liked that she was bitchy and mean, especially to Rachel, who absolutely deserved it for being a conceited loser (I’m a really nice person and word things very passively). But, as the seasons went on, I found myself becoming more and more confused as to why ANYONE would even speak to Quinn anymore. She sabotaged the glee club multiple times, cheated on boyfriends, helped boys cheat on their girlfriends, slapped Rachel across the face (I approve of that though), gave her baby up for adoption and then tried to get the baby back by setting up the foster mother to look like an asshole, dressed terribly (this has nothing to do with her character, I just hate her outfits), and so much more. On top of this, she got put in a wheelchair because of texting and driving and was STILL a huge prick to everyone about being prom queen. Like what is your issue? I don’t understand why people keep going back to being Quinn’s friend, but it’s high time people stop talking to her.

I believe what would have made the show better is when the students took a group trip to Six Flags (of which there are none around the area they live in), the bus should have crashed and killed all of them. It really would have been the best for everyone involved. Especially me.

2)   The Storylines

“Glee” has this problem in which they forget what has already happened in storylines. They completely change them when they want, add stupid details in that are insanely irrelevant, and some are just completely dropped and we are left with never understanding why it was even created to begin with.

I think my biggest issue with the storylines on “Glee” is those involving relationships. This show acts like high school relationships are the end of life, which I get they are in high school, but it’s annoying as fuck to watch. I was annoying enough when I was in high school about people’s relationships, I don’t need to relive all of that obnoxious shit for the sake of ratings. For example, when Kurt and Rachel were both planning to go off to New York for college, they both had to think about their relationships. As I said, Finn and Rachel get engaged (OKAY) because what else would they do? Just try to make it work long distance? No? Okay. Kurt and Blaine also stay together (I’m shocked they don’t have an extravagant gay wedding since “Glee” is so ridiculously cliché and over the top for shits and gigs), but the way they act about them being separated is so dramatic. I get it, you’re sad about leaving your boyfriend. But you know what? I don’t care. I had a boyfriend when I went to college and we were three hours apart. It worked for a little bit, then didn’t, and then the end. Yeah, it sucked at the time, but the end. I was in college. It was time for me to get drunk and develop crippling alcoholism instead.

The characters on “Glee” seem to constantly forget the past storylines and what has happened. As I mentioned with Quinn, she was a complete asshole to every single person in the glee club (I’m not even exaggerating, LITERALLY every single person), yet they must have all had collective amnesia and so they carried on thinking she was cool to them at all times.

The show also has a problem with re-hashing old storylines constantly. The biggest problem I can think of is that of Mercedes and her place in the glee club. I think that maybe ¾ of the first three seasons revolved around the idea that Rachel got too many solos in the glee club and Mercedes felt she deserved more. Like, yeah, I completely agree, but how about everyone do some Sudoku or crossword puzzles to keep their minds sharp so I don’t have to hear about some glee members being ignored again.

One of my least favorite episodes of season three had to be the Michael Jackson tribute episode. I’m all about tribute episodes, ESPECIALLY if they’re Michael Jackson-themed. However, the episode IMMEDIATELY set itself up as being a tribute episode. They didn’t even nicely string the songs along to fit in with the storylines, they actually announced at the beginning the MJ was the greatest singer/dancer of our time or some shit. Like, I love me some Michael Jackson, but how about we set up a story arc instead of just saying, “fuck it, we’re singing MJ songs”. It was kind of bullshit for me. But I guess I can’t expect more because they essentially did the same with Lady Gaga and Britney Spears (except for the recent “Britney 2.0” episode, in which they surprisingly did tie in why they were singing Britney songs).

This just makes me think about how the show, rather than adding the songs into the storylines, must choose what songs they’re singing first and then create storylines around those song choices. It’s so frustrating because problems are created where they don’t need to be. There’s just so much wrong with the stories, it’s stupid.

The show has a huge consistency problem. For example, the glee club made it to nationals twice. The first time, nationals were in New York and there were like thirteen competing teams. The New Directions didn’t even place in the top ten, and it deservedly happened that way. The next year they made it, there were only three competing teams and it was much less high profile. It probably explains why they actually won nationals that year. Less competition = more time for those assholes to spend being mediocre. Which brings me to my next point…

3)   The songs sound like Kidz Bop Covers

The majority of the cast of “Glee” have really amazing voices. Some of them, not so much, but for the most part, yeah, they can sing. Their individually performed songs are usually pretty good, but it’s when they do group numbers that they run into a problem.

For some reason, “Glee” finds it important to be relevant in music choices, and then they tend to choose the worst pop songs of today and cover them. The first episode of season four had a rendition of “Call Me Maybe”. Like, really? For a show that’s supposed to be so cutting edge, you’re covering “Call Me Maybe”, which came out months ago? All right, thanks. All of the songs seriously sound like they’re straight off of the Kidz Bop cds. That’s never a good thing.

I don’t really know what else to say about this other than the fact that the group songs sound like shit. Well, I guess I should add that the show should just end at this point.

Oh, I will add that it’s also completely ridiculous that the glee club puts on extremely elaborate performances when just rehearsing for Mr. Schu. Like, where the fuck did you get that budget and why does this not seem weird to any of them?

4)   The show pushes its morals on you

I totally get that “Glee” is trying to send a message out there. It’s saying to be yourself, be happy in your skin, don’t bully, accept one another, etc. etc. I get it, I really do. And you know what? I also believe those messages (ignore the fact that I called Rachel a “conceited loser” who deserved to be bullied for argument’s sake right now). But I don’t need them shoved down my throat every single fucking week. I get that that’s still your morals and you want me to remember that.

What’s more annoying than those morals being thrown at you constantly is that the characters don’t even embody what they’re supposed to be supporting. They’re all bullies. I don’t give a fuck what anyone says, they’re all assholes. They’re all mean to one another, say spiteful and hateful things, and I don’t think any of them would ever genuinely like one another or be friends. I get the show isn’t supposed to be realistic, but I at least like to be fooled into thinking that characters could actually hang out in real life. Not here. But anyway, back to my point, as I’ve said constantly, Quinn’s an asshole. Finn outed Santana then acted like he was God and did nothing wrong. They all call each other names. Artie has bullied pretty much every girl he’s dated (he called Brittany stupid and told Tina to dress differently) because he has a superiority complex and thinks he’s smarter than everyone. Literally every single person in that club has taken a massive shit on Rachel. But no, because they’re all outcasts and ostracized by others, this means that it’s okay if they bully each other, because they’re all victims. That is such shit to me. How about they practice what they preach on each other and treat each other well if they’re seriously considering that they’re all friends.

I think that one of the biggest issues this show presses on you is about gay rights and gay students. I totally support gay rights, but the show puts all of its anti-bullying eggs in that basket. I understand that that’s extremely in the limelight right now, but the other students being shit on by their classmates who aren’t gay should also probably do something about the fact that everyone hates them. If we’re shooting at our target audience of theater nerds, “Glee”, let’s be more inclusive about all victim groups in high school. This issue of bullying and gay rights leads has a lot to do with my final problem with the show.

5)   Offensive for the sake of being offensive

I feel that because “Glee” is making such strides in making the gay youth of America feel accepted, the creators think they can do and say whatever the fuck they want with the dialogue. Ryan Murphy is literally offensive because he can be, and it’s pissing me off.

The characters are racist as fuck. Almost all of them. It’s almost always brought up that Tina is Asian and that she dated another Asian. Rachel being Jewish is always a point of discussion, and there was an episode about her hating her Jewish nose. They literally called it her Jewish nose. The show HATES gingers with a passion, and after watching other Ryan Murphy shows, I see that’s a trend with him.

I really am a fan of Ryan Murphy’s work, I love “American Horror Story” and “Nip/Tuck”, but I feel that he is much better at making shows that are dramatic with dark comedy thrown in than straight up comedy. He literally gets license to say whatever the fuck he wants because the show has a moral about not bullying and tolerance or some shit being pushed at the end of every episode. If this is true, however, why is it okay for Sue to make derogatory statements to and about Kurt’s sexuality and the fact that he is feminine almost every episode? It just doesn’t make sense to me. For a show that is supposed to be about tolerance and acceptance, there is just so much other offensive shit going on.

And that’s the point, which makes me mad. I read an article saying that Ryan Murphy referred to himself as the “male Lady Gaga”. As unnecessary as it is for that statement to EVER be made by any person ever, all it says to me is that he does shit for shock value, because that’s how I view Lady Gaga. He pushes the envelope as much as he can on every single issue because he wants to and it’s getting so old. His new show, “The New Normal”, is somehow more offensive, and it gets away with it, because for some reason Ryan Murphy doesn’t follow the laws of common decency like the rest of it. I guess it explains why all of his characters think that they’re God when really, their shit stinks just like the rest of us.

So that’s just a glimpse as to why I hate “Glee”. It’s pretentious, obnoxious, the characters are unlikable, the music stopped being even somewhat good, and the plots conveniently always get lost and forgotten. The original ending to this post was about how I knew that I’d be watching “Glee” again on demand the next time I babysat, but I am so extremely overly proud to say that I have not watched the show since September or October, which I know is four years after I should have stopped watching the show, but for someone who has a habit of not being able to look away from car wrecks (this show is a car wreck), I’ve managed for the past few months to keep my eyes straight ahead, instead of cringing at what was beside me on the road (driving metaphors. So deep).

and all i’m ever gonna be is mean

15 Jan

I really dislike Taylor Swift. I don’t know if that’s become a popular thing to do, but if it has, don’t mistake me for someone who just jumped on the bandwagon recently but my iPod is actually packed with songs from her first cd. I have never liked Taylor Swift. My opinion of her has always been this: I appreciate that she writes her own lyrics because I know how many musicians still do not do that. However, I do not like her lyrics. Or the general sound of her music. I am just not a fan. Her songs sound like a preteen wrote in her diary and then thought it was okay to put that to music, completely unpolished and ridiculously immature. I am not a fan of this. So, originally my only gripe with her was really just that I didn’t like her music, but I suppose I respected her for at least doing her own work.

Eventually, I learned more about Taylor Swift. Far too much, really. All the time, all I learn about is Taylor Swift. I know way too much about her love life. And that’s really all I seem to know about her, but I feel like I’ve learned so much more about the kind of person she is just from knowing about all of her (failed) relationships. Her relationships never seem to last more than three months (recently, at least. I feel like she was with Joe Jonas for a while before he dumped her via text message. Classy move on his part), but she claims to be in love with the guys (I say guys because she has dated between men and babies it feels like) immediately. So, clearly, she falls too hard too fast. But what bothers me about this is that she’s immediately onto a new guy after breaking up with the last. I wouldn’t have an issue if she fell really hard for a guy fast, because that happens to everyone, not just TSwift. But, it’s the fact that she immediately moves on and never takes the time to just be single and deal with herself that annoys me. And I get it, she’s young. She’s my age. People my age do that. But, again, here’s my issue with that, I don’t like people who do that. So my problem with Taylor Swift is not that she’s some annoying girl who jumps in and out of relationships and needs attention (I do believe she needs attention). My problem is that in real life, if I knew her, I would not want to be friends with her. Because I have met people like her (notice I say people, not just women. Don’t get sexist and generalize here, no one reading this blog) and I cannot deal with them. I know exactly how she’d be in real life: I’d give her a piece of advice about staying single and going with the flow and just seeing what happens, and she would push for a new relationship immediately, ignoring anything I had said to her. It’s really just insulting to me. I just dislike that.

And again, I don’t want to use the excuse that she’s young. Because you know what? I’m her age and so are the majority of my friends. And I can give you a list of people who are nothing like that, who don’t force things that don’t belong just because they don’t want to be single or something. So I get that she’s young and she’s “falling in and out of love” or whatever, but how about she take a break for a little bit and learn to be single?

And yeah, I get that it’s worse for her with her relationships being completely public, out there for everyone in the world to read about. But in all honesty, that makes it even more annoying because it is thrown in my face 24/7 that she is jumping in and out of relationships. And what’s worse is that I feel like she’s abusing the word “love” because she just takes the feelings she has and lumps them under that category immediately. Again, it’s insulting to the entire notion of love.

But, back to her music. She’s young so she’s going to write young music. Well, I’ll just look at Adele, who is just absolutely magnificent, and yes, also young. Her cds are called “19” and “21” because that’s how old when she wrote them. They are noticeably far more mature than TSwift’s music ever will be. But whatever, that’s not what Taylor’s going for, she’s a part of another genre entirely. I just dislike that she continues winning awards as if she is the best in everything she does, which I strongly disagree with. Also, all Taylor’s music is about breakups. We get it. Guys break up with you. Sometimes you break up with them. Like TSwift, Adele’s second cd was about her breakup. But, again,it just sounded so much more mature. And her voice is just so much more soothing to me.

I guess all I can get at it here is I am not a fan of Taylor Swift or her music. I never was and I never ever ever will be (see what I did there?). My advice to Taylor is to take the time to work on herself and be single. Because you don’t need a man to make you better, Taylor. You do you, girl.

Also, I realize I sound like a complete bully in this, but really, I never claimed to be a nice or non-judgmental person, so you’re looking at the wrong blog if you’re actually on this page and hoping to read something kind and uplifting. It would honestly probably be easier for me to name the people I don’t dislike than it would be for me to name the people I do dislike. That’s just the kind of person I am. And I think Taylor Swift needs to take a nap.