Tag Archives: friends

in defense of ross geller: a very special episode

19 Apr

I recently read an article on Buzzfeed entitled “35 Reasons Why Ross Geller is the Worst”. Now, as an avid “Friends” viewer (I could probably quote episodes in full to you, possibly verbatim, and I’m not ashamed of that. NO TEA NO SHADE, HUNTIES), I have had my fair share of struggle with Ross Geller throughout the years. Anyone who watches the show probably has. But, what I think happened with the person who wrote this article is that they were dwelling too much on the Ross of yesteryear (aka Ross seasons 1-4), as opposed to the incredible Ross of the later seasons. I have to assume that this is what they were doing, otherwise I’m afraid I might crumble and fall to pieces. I love Ross Geller.

Gross. Season 1 Ross. Just looking at him is the worst.

Gross. Season 1 Ross. Just looking at him is the worst.

You see, boys and ghouls, for anyone who somehow does not know, Ross is an extremely annoying character in seasons 1-4, emphasis on seasons 1, 2, and 3. He was whiny, annoying, self-obsessed, heterosexist, and frustratingly always thinking he was right. There were episodes dealing with essentially all of these issues. Getting together with Rachel did make Ross a more likable and bearable character, but then came the episodes I hate to watch. I am talking about when Rachel meets Mark and he gets her the job at Bloomingdales. Ross’s insane jealousy of Mark is out of control. YES, technically he was correct that Mark wanted to sleep with Rachel, but that isn’t the point. The point is that he was immediately jealous of this new character and apparently didn’t have enough faith in Rachel to get over it, seemingly not knowing that Rachel would never do anything with Mark to jeopardize her relationship with Ross.

Then there’s the debate that the show twisted in later seasons, “were they or were they not on a break”. I cannot stress this enough: the original question that broke up Ross and Rachel was not if they were on a break or not. They were on a break, we all know this. The problem was that Ross slept with that copy shop girl (who, by the way, was not as hot as the male characters on the show made her out to be, sorry I’m not sorry) on the same night that him and Rachel broke up, after he had gotten mad at Rachel for being in the same room as Mark (must note, Rachel never slept with Mark. C’mon Ross), and then tried to cover his tracks so Rachel would never find out about what had happened. In my opinion, Ross is entirely in the wrong. We technically can’t consider this cheating (no one stab me for saying that, I watch “Sex and the City”, I’ve heard of their “cheating curve”), but my real problem is that Ross was not giving a shit about Rachel’s job that she loved and was trying to take seriously, because he was out of control jealous of Mark. It’s a problem that he slept with someone immediately after him and Rachel simply went on a break, before actually discussing with her if it was a break up. The show changes the issue to the ongoing joke of “we were on a break”, when really, that has nothing to do with it. We all know they were on a break, but we don’t know for a fact if Ross was in the wrong for his actions (I think he was, the break up has nothing to do with Mark, but Ross’s insane insecurity and lack of being able to get over his jealousy).

But yeah, there’s my rant about Ross seasons 1-3, really. He gets better in season 4. I assume it’s because they added the character of Emily and everyone looks good in comparison to her. She really sucked. However, it’s season 5 that I began to fall in love with Ross.

Best thing this schmuck could have ever done for himself.

Best thing this schmuck could have ever done for himself was saying the wrong name.

After him and Emily break up (“good riddance to bad rubbish”, all of America collectively thought at the same exact moment), Ross goes insane. And it is hysterical. The after-Thanksgiving sandwich that Ross’s boss eats and then Ross freaks out about, leading him to have to take a sabbatical. Ross’s “rage”. The leather pants he wears that turn into his “paste pants”. Trying to get a couch upstairs and continuously yelling “PIVOT” at Chandler and Rachel when there was clearly no room to pivot. Marrying Rachel in Vegas and then lying to her about getting an annulment. Getting divorced. Again. When he bleaches his teeth that glow in the dark because he is overly excited for an upcoming date. The dance routine he does with his sister for New Year’s that they made up when they were in high school. The Holiday armadillo, Santa’s half-Jewish friend (absolutely genius). Dating Mona (who might be worse than Emily, that’s my opinion) and forgetting about her all of the time. When he’s upset about Rachel and Joey dating (but really, we were all upset about Rachel and Joey dating, that was a dark time), and he got drunk, made an impromptu speech about love, claimed he was “FINE” and then shouted, “MY FAJITAS!”. When Chandler claims that Ross died on their alumni website and Ross decides to stage a memorial service to see who shows up. When he eats too much maple candy and wants to steal the contents of everything in his hotel room. And I will leave you with the mental image of Ross getting a tan, but only getting sprayed on his front side, so he’s completely white all down his back.

Why tease you with the mental image when I have the actual image right here? Plus, now we're all in the know about who plays the tanning salon guy. We're all the wiser for this.

Why tease you with the mental image when I have the actual image right here? Plus, now we’re all in the know about who plays the tanning salon guy. We’re all the wiser for this.

It wouldn't be right to not give you the holiday armadillo.

It wouldn’t be right to not give you the holiday armadillo.

You got yourself a pair of paste pants.

You got yourself a pair of paste pants.

Ross Geller in the 80's: Every woman's dream.

Ross Geller in the 80’s: Every woman’s dream.

"Who has a black light?! It's 1999!"

“Who has a black light?! It’s 1999!”

As a final treat, here's just a really nice picture of Ross.

As a final treat, here’s just a really nice picture of Ross.

The writer of the Buzzfeed article tries to pretend these moments weren’t endearing, but really, they make Ross amazing. Most of the gifs this columnist added were from some of Ross’s best moments. The writers spent a lot of time focusing on the storylines of other characters and then giving Ross these ridiculous subplots that were automatically the main source of comedy, for me at least. If I had to choose any character to watch a show about just living his or her day-to-day life, it would be Ross. For him, a mundane task like getting the newspaper would be turned into an entertaining adventure. Whoever wrote the Buzzfeed article must have been watching a different show from me, because Ross goes from (probably everyone’s) least favorite to one of the best characters on “Friends”. The writers decided just to make him more of a joke as a character in general. He’s still whiny, but he’s whiny in a funny way, such as when he yells “MAJOR SHAMPOO EXPLOSION” after stolen toiletries explode in his luggage, and then asks God, “why do bad things happen to good people?” Ross makes a complete 180 and easily becomes one of the funniest characters.

And I really have to give kudos to David Schwimmer here, because his line delivery in all of his scenes is absolutely amazing. He knows exactly when to shout certain words, when there should be extra emphasis on different syllables, and he is damn entertaining at acting drunk. So I don’t care what you say, Buzzfeed. Ross Geller is absolutely anything BUT the worst.

The worst goes to Monica. SORRY, I’M NOT SORRY. I SAID IT. We were all thinking it. Let’s move on.

Oh and if anything, we should all be able to appreciate Ross for his hair in season 5 alone. It is out of control and it is amazing.

Such a luscious mane of crazy hair.

Such a luscious mane of crazy hair.

So, as a send-off for the end of this post, here are some YouTube videos of Ross Geller’s finest moments. I think we can all learn a lesson or six from Ross on how we can truly live, and I probably quote all of his one liners on a daily basis. Goodbye, and may the odds be ever in your favor, darling.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t actually watch any of those videos. They’re probably all the same moments overlapping, but I frankly do not care. I can’t get enough dinosaurs! Or Ross Geller (season 5 on, of course).

Ross Geller: A god amongst mortals.

Ross Geller: A god amongst mortals.

i need to get my frank sinatra playlist in order

15 Apr

As much as I like to think of myself as a realist, I think I have to accept that my thoughts lean toward those of a pessimist point of view. The proverbial cup tends to be neither half full nor half empty, but instead, almost entirely empty. I like to pretend that I think this way because it’s the most realistic approach, but really, I think I’m trying to fool myself into thinking I’m less a miserable human being than I really am.

But despite my affinity for thinking the worst, I have some impending new life changes on the horizon that I am actually actively making myself think positively about, lest I have a panic attack every twenty minutes every single day. I am planning to move in June to New York with my good friend Lauren (check out her blog, suckers. She’s on this site, too. There’s a chance she’s the only person reading this entry. There’s also a chance she’s not reading it at all. Let’s hope for the best) to get the hell out of Massachusetts and try something new to further our lives. They’re pretty bleak in Watertown. If I stay here too much longer I might explode. I actually assume my body is going to explode at some point, but it would be so much more eventful if it happened in the big city (da big apple lolzzzz).

I want to take this time to make a special shout out to my palz Steph and Liz; Steph who was my roommate soulmate when we were paired together in London and Lauren and I will also be living with once we move, and Liz, who was one of my roommates in Amherst last year but is now in New York, and I cannot wait to live in the same vicinity as again. Both of them make the thought of the move even more exciting. Moving with Lauren does, too, I guess. Lololololzzzzz #BadassBitch #LuvMyGrlz

Now to be serious and genuine on this blog for once in my life. I’m looking to get into television production. Ideally at some point I would love to write for television, but for the time being, I’d be more than happy working my way through the business and would be ecstatic just to be a part of it. My biggest passion is probably television and I don’t care how sad that makes me sound, it’s what field I want to be involved in because I feel like it’s what I am destined to be a part of eventually. I’m twenty-two, this is the best time for me to go. I’m young enough where even if I totally fuck up, I have time to figure my life out. I like having that option. It’s scary, but also amazing.

I am also at the point in my life where I need a change of environment. Living at home is not a problem because my parents are overbearing or anything, I really get a lot of freedom here. It’s the fact that I’m twenty-two and I lived away for four years and am not used to being here anymore. I shouldn’t be in Watertown. Aside from family and (roughly four) friends, there is nothing here for me. It’s time for me to leave the Boston area and go somewhere new that has more opportunity for me. I’m really looking forward to the change and I really think I need it for my mental stability and wellbeing. I don’t know if you all (all zero of you) have sensed it, but I’m more on the crazy side than the sane side, and I’m hoping to maybe even that out a bit more if I’m somewhere else.

Also, my favorite place that I have ever lived is London. I never thought I would see myself as someone who would love to live in a city, but ever since I came back from there, I’ve missed being in a big city so much. Sure, Boston is a city, but it’s too small for me. I need somewhere bigger, with tons of boroughs to explore. I don’t need a square I can walk from destination to destination in. The second I got to Piccadilly Square in London, I immediately thought of Times Square. The more I went around London and then later went around New York, the two reminded me of one another. I think that New York will be a great London substitute since I can’t make my way back there (as of now, it would be amazing if I could eventually live there again, but who knows what’s gonna happen in life? I ain’t a psychic or nothin’), I might as well be as close as I can be here in the states. I think that’s something I need.

So, because of my excitement over the idea of being somewhere new, I need to keep my thoughts positive. I know how difficult it can be to survive in the city. But, I can’t focus on that. Sometimes, when I’m trying to fall asleep at night, I can’t stop thinking about money and moving and costs and jobs and everything that a person is supposed to worry about when going through a transition like this. And whenever I do, I feel entirely anxious, I want to cry and I cannot shake the feeling. I’ve learned that thinking positively really does make a difference, despite how much I hate optimists (sorry about how horrible that sounds, but I just think they’re so unrealistic and I don’t like inspirational quotes. They have no place in my life), I know I need to remain optimistic about the move to New York or I will absolutely lose my mind and not be able to function for probably a solid week. And that would get me nowhere. Because all that’s keeping me here now is the fact that I’m making money for my move and I can’t do that if I’m not functioning. I need to be at least partially functioning in order to get some dolla billz. I never thought I’d be someone to keep her head up so much, but hey, I guess that’s just what’s going on now. Hopefully I can someday soon return to the self-deprecating, self-loathing, mentally unstable pessimist we all know and have come to ignore. But for now, I guess I’ll keep thinking positively and listen to “Baby Don’t Cry”, both parts I and II, by Tupac to get me through life.

I suggest you all listen to Tupac regardless of your life situation. 1 luv.

Oh, also, I’m going to Governor’s Ball and I am pumped as fuck about that. Our move to New York coincides with the weekend of Governor’s Ball (for the most part), so that just makes me doubly as excited to get to June and be in New York. Good things on the horizon, people. Good things.

Again, listen to Tupac. He speaks some powerful words.