are there any songs about turning 24? does anyone even care?

1 Jul

It’s the eve of my 24th birthday and although my life is drastically different, it feels like I’m finding myself places I’ve been before. I’ve survived a year in New York, grown up, altered my lifestyle, met someone and fell in love and now I’m trying desperately to force myself out of it.

I thought I would go into my 24th year on this Earth as someone new, in a completely new circumstance, ready to grow into myself as a person. I’ve been at my job for a year and ready to move on, we’re in the works of moving into a new apartment, and I thought I had someone I loved by my side to get me through all the trying times.

I’ll never forget on “Sex and the City” that Carrie once said something along the lines of “New York women are always looking for either a job, a boyfriend, or an apartment”. I thought I was going to have at least two out of three set going into my mid-twenties, but it’s looking like I’m just another lost cause; I have a job, but want to move on, but have no idea anymore what I want to do with my life. I thought I was going into a long-standing relationship, but that was pulled out from beneath me and I’m left alone, yet again, like I’ve been so many times. Just me, my computer, and my broken heart. If I had a pick up truck or liked animals, I could write a country song. The apartment we’re looking to move into seems like a lost cause at this point, as we have no idea when we’re moving. It’ll happen eventually, but no one knows when.

Ultimately, I want to be happy. And in my last month of being 23, I went from being happy and almost completely content, to having all of my dreams in front of me dashed. I feel completely lost right now and don’t know what to do. And all I can do is wallow, which is the worst part.

I just felt I hadn’t written in so long, which is a real shame. I just can’t find the energy to write at all anymore, I’m usually busy or too tired from work. I guess I’ll have a lot more free time now, however, so I guess I’ll have that going for me. It’s just that I’m turning 24 in less than three hours and I don’t even know how I feel about it. I guess I mostly feel empty, and I wish there was something I could do to fix that. Right now though, it doesn’t look like there’s a solution in sight.

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3 Responses to “are there any songs about turning 24? does anyone even care?”

  1. Petie Martin September 8, 2014 at 10:22 am #

    You haven’t updated in over a month – did you ever turn 24? You’re sort of keeping everyone in suspense here.

    I read a few posts here this morning and had a good time reading your blog. The pictures you use to punctuate your writing are awesome.

    P.S. I was looking for a picture of Shoshanna, mostly because I woke up thinking about the ridiculous bun-on-the-head hairstyle. I’ve only watched the first episode of Girls, and I watched both SNL sketches quite a few times. I’d have to say I watched the first episode mostly so I could get those references. So it’s super weird that I was up at 6am EST thinking about that hairstyle.

    • alainpennylaine September 8, 2014 at 9:46 pm #

      You caught me…I did turn 24. So sorry to have left you hanging like that, I hope you didn’t lose TOO much sleep worrying. Unfortunately I couldn’t turn back father time and I am continuously getting older.

      I appreciate all of the positive feedback. I feel like I’ve lost touch with writing, but I’m going through an intense time of change in my life, so I’ll need to get back into it and my amazing pictures of Jack Nicholson from the Shining to get me through it.

      I wake up in cold sweat in the middle of every night thinking about Shoshana’s hairstyle. It’s what eats me alive but also keeps me going.

  2. Jax June 1, 2015 at 6:53 am #

    There is a great song about turning (or maybe rather being) 24 by the Red House Painters: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwTA2ekGZCE

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