this post used to be much more relevant to my life, but thankfully, i’ve changed my ways

23 Jan

I’ll admit it: I used to genuinely like “Glee”. I guess I was a “gleek”, but that’s embarrassing, so we’ll forget I said that. As season one progressed and wrapped up, I found myself anxiously awaiting season two to premiere. Once that happened, however, I found myself confused. Nothing about the show made sense to me anymore. Everything that was refreshing about it in the beginning was growing stale.

I watched mercilessly through the entire second season and was left with mixed emotions; I was happy the season was over, yet sad because of how disappointing it was, and increasingly becoming angry because I sat through that pile of shit. So, less than enthusiastically, I watched the premiere of the third season. And you know what? It showed promise. It seemed like the show was going back to whatever roots I was under the impression it strayed away from and was going to entertain me and enter my heart yet again. However, I don’t know what happened during the third season, but what ultimately was handed to me was yet another heaping pile of shit that I was left to mourn over. I think I officially just hate “Glee” and have come to accept it.

So, with the fourth season recently beginning (I wrote this post originally in September, so yes, the new season was recently beginning), one would assume that I was not tuning in, avoiding “Fox” on Thursday nights from 9-10, moving on with my life. That’s partially true. I didn’t see the show when it originally aired, but thanks to modern technology, I caught it on demand while babysitting. So many people around me were trying to tell me that the fourth season premiere was good, that I would like it, that the new characters were good. How did I feel after I watched it? The same as I always feel: angry. Not with the show anymore, but with myself. The show is bad. I’ve accepted that. I was mad at myself because I continued to watch it and torture myself by doing so week after week. I have issues and I know that. I’m beginning to think I’m a masochist because I kept going back for more of the shit that’s being served to me. But something about the stupid show was pulling me back in and as much as I complained, I didn’t stop watching. So, I figured I’d put my complaining to good use and compile the five main reasons why I really hate “Glee”. Oh, there are so many more reasons, but I’ll try to just stick to five.

Side note: “Glee” went on a like four or five week break during the election season and that was just the jump-off I needed to stop watching the show. I quit it, cold turkey, and my life has never been happier. But, I avidly read PerezHilton.com and hate every second of it because Perez is a self-righteous piece of shit who constantly misspells words, forgets the rules of grammar, and also is just terrible at reporting everything, and “Glee” is still thrown in my face on a daily basis. So, this list still applies despite not watching the show anymore and being a masochist for it. I’m a masochist for other reasons, so it’s all good.

1)   The Characters

When the show first started, I liked the characters; they were diverse, accepting, albeit one-note, yet we were just getting to know them so this was all right. However, as the show has gone on, these characters have remained one-note. They have almost no depth whatsoever and essentially all have one definitive quality. Rachel: wants to be on Broadway. Kurt: proud gay kid. Mercedes: sassy black woman. Tina: quiet Asian. Artie: wheelchair kid. Brittany: stupid cheerleader. Not only are they completely one-note, but they’re also extreme stereotypes and walking clichés (or a rolling cliché in Artie’s case. Cue the drum set). The show is completely steadfast on keeping these characters in their molds, despite whatever storylines are created for them. Ultimately, they can all be defined by these descriptions for their entirety on the show.

What’s more annoying than these tried and tired character elements are the characters themselves. Many of them are not even likable. Rachel is extremely obnoxious. Yes, she can sing, but I honestly don’t care because she is so ridiculously annoying. What is frustrating is that all of the other characters know this and call her out on it constantly, yet they still continue to “love” her and talk to her out of school. If this were real high school, Rachel would be sitting at home alone on Friday nights, or maybe have one friend of equal or lesser obnoxiousness, and would not be invited to social functions. In this alternate “Glee” universe, however, Rachel not only has friends and is the leader of the “gleeks”, but she also dates the star of the football team. Like all right, I’ll in no way believe that.

Speaking of the star of the football team, Finn has got to be one of the most self-righteous and frustrating characters out there. Finn is not even that good of a singer, yet he gets all of the lead male parts in the glee club. That just doesn’t seem fair. He also called Santana out on being a lesbian, which just wasn’t appropriate and apparently thinks he is God for whatever reason. There was an episode where he was angry because Blaine, the new kid, was getting more solos than him in the club. Uh, yeah, that’s what fucking happens in glee club, Finn. If someone is better than you, they sing more than you do. Also, you can’t dance for shit, so what are you even doing here? Plus you called Kurt a “fag” once, and that was just mean. For some reason the glee teacher, a fully grown man (close to Finn’s portrayer’s age in real life) wanted him to be his best man at his wedding. That’s normal. I don’t get why Mr. Schu has no friends outside of glee club, but that’s really embarrassing for him. Also embarrassing is Finn thinking that him and Rachel were the hottest couple to hit the Earth. Like, I don’t care about you two. Get off of my screen. That was my thought every single time they were on my screen. Then they got engaged. In high school. Because high school relationships last forever. OH and you’re a fucking moron and thought you got Quinn pregnant even though you didn’t have sex. I just can’t even handle Finn.

So this brings me to Quinn. I had always been a Quinn fan. I liked that she was bitchy and mean, especially to Rachel, who absolutely deserved it for being a conceited loser (I’m a really nice person and word things very passively). But, as the seasons went on, I found myself becoming more and more confused as to why ANYONE would even speak to Quinn anymore. She sabotaged the glee club multiple times, cheated on boyfriends, helped boys cheat on their girlfriends, slapped Rachel across the face (I approve of that though), gave her baby up for adoption and then tried to get the baby back by setting up the foster mother to look like an asshole, dressed terribly (this has nothing to do with her character, I just hate her outfits), and so much more. On top of this, she got put in a wheelchair because of texting and driving and was STILL a huge prick to everyone about being prom queen. Like what is your issue? I don’t understand why people keep going back to being Quinn’s friend, but it’s high time people stop talking to her.

I believe what would have made the show better is when the students took a group trip to Six Flags (of which there are none around the area they live in), the bus should have crashed and killed all of them. It really would have been the best for everyone involved. Especially me.

2)   The Storylines

“Glee” has this problem in which they forget what has already happened in storylines. They completely change them when they want, add stupid details in that are insanely irrelevant, and some are just completely dropped and we are left with never understanding why it was even created to begin with.

I think my biggest issue with the storylines on “Glee” is those involving relationships. This show acts like high school relationships are the end of life, which I get they are in high school, but it’s annoying as fuck to watch. I was annoying enough when I was in high school about people’s relationships, I don’t need to relive all of that obnoxious shit for the sake of ratings. For example, when Kurt and Rachel were both planning to go off to New York for college, they both had to think about their relationships. As I said, Finn and Rachel get engaged (OKAY) because what else would they do? Just try to make it work long distance? No? Okay. Kurt and Blaine also stay together (I’m shocked they don’t have an extravagant gay wedding since “Glee” is so ridiculously cliché and over the top for shits and gigs), but the way they act about them being separated is so dramatic. I get it, you’re sad about leaving your boyfriend. But you know what? I don’t care. I had a boyfriend when I went to college and we were three hours apart. It worked for a little bit, then didn’t, and then the end. Yeah, it sucked at the time, but the end. I was in college. It was time for me to get drunk and develop crippling alcoholism instead.

The characters on “Glee” seem to constantly forget the past storylines and what has happened. As I mentioned with Quinn, she was a complete asshole to every single person in the glee club (I’m not even exaggerating, LITERALLY every single person), yet they must have all had collective amnesia and so they carried on thinking she was cool to them at all times.

The show also has a problem with re-hashing old storylines constantly. The biggest problem I can think of is that of Mercedes and her place in the glee club. I think that maybe ¾ of the first three seasons revolved around the idea that Rachel got too many solos in the glee club and Mercedes felt she deserved more. Like, yeah, I completely agree, but how about everyone do some Sudoku or crossword puzzles to keep their minds sharp so I don’t have to hear about some glee members being ignored again.

One of my least favorite episodes of season three had to be the Michael Jackson tribute episode. I’m all about tribute episodes, ESPECIALLY if they’re Michael Jackson-themed. However, the episode IMMEDIATELY set itself up as being a tribute episode. They didn’t even nicely string the songs along to fit in with the storylines, they actually announced at the beginning the MJ was the greatest singer/dancer of our time or some shit. Like, I love me some Michael Jackson, but how about we set up a story arc instead of just saying, “fuck it, we’re singing MJ songs”. It was kind of bullshit for me. But I guess I can’t expect more because they essentially did the same with Lady Gaga and Britney Spears (except for the recent “Britney 2.0” episode, in which they surprisingly did tie in why they were singing Britney songs).

This just makes me think about how the show, rather than adding the songs into the storylines, must choose what songs they’re singing first and then create storylines around those song choices. It’s so frustrating because problems are created where they don’t need to be. There’s just so much wrong with the stories, it’s stupid.

The show has a huge consistency problem. For example, the glee club made it to nationals twice. The first time, nationals were in New York and there were like thirteen competing teams. The New Directions didn’t even place in the top ten, and it deservedly happened that way. The next year they made it, there were only three competing teams and it was much less high profile. It probably explains why they actually won nationals that year. Less competition = more time for those assholes to spend being mediocre. Which brings me to my next point…

3)   The songs sound like Kidz Bop Covers

The majority of the cast of “Glee” have really amazing voices. Some of them, not so much, but for the most part, yeah, they can sing. Their individually performed songs are usually pretty good, but it’s when they do group numbers that they run into a problem.

For some reason, “Glee” finds it important to be relevant in music choices, and then they tend to choose the worst pop songs of today and cover them. The first episode of season four had a rendition of “Call Me Maybe”. Like, really? For a show that’s supposed to be so cutting edge, you’re covering “Call Me Maybe”, which came out months ago? All right, thanks. All of the songs seriously sound like they’re straight off of the Kidz Bop cds. That’s never a good thing.

I don’t really know what else to say about this other than the fact that the group songs sound like shit. Well, I guess I should add that the show should just end at this point.

Oh, I will add that it’s also completely ridiculous that the glee club puts on extremely elaborate performances when just rehearsing for Mr. Schu. Like, where the fuck did you get that budget and why does this not seem weird to any of them?

4)   The show pushes its morals on you

I totally get that “Glee” is trying to send a message out there. It’s saying to be yourself, be happy in your skin, don’t bully, accept one another, etc. etc. I get it, I really do. And you know what? I also believe those messages (ignore the fact that I called Rachel a “conceited loser” who deserved to be bullied for argument’s sake right now). But I don’t need them shoved down my throat every single fucking week. I get that that’s still your morals and you want me to remember that.

What’s more annoying than those morals being thrown at you constantly is that the characters don’t even embody what they’re supposed to be supporting. They’re all bullies. I don’t give a fuck what anyone says, they’re all assholes. They’re all mean to one another, say spiteful and hateful things, and I don’t think any of them would ever genuinely like one another or be friends. I get the show isn’t supposed to be realistic, but I at least like to be fooled into thinking that characters could actually hang out in real life. Not here. But anyway, back to my point, as I’ve said constantly, Quinn’s an asshole. Finn outed Santana then acted like he was God and did nothing wrong. They all call each other names. Artie has bullied pretty much every girl he’s dated (he called Brittany stupid and told Tina to dress differently) because he has a superiority complex and thinks he’s smarter than everyone. Literally every single person in that club has taken a massive shit on Rachel. But no, because they’re all outcasts and ostracized by others, this means that it’s okay if they bully each other, because they’re all victims. That is such shit to me. How about they practice what they preach on each other and treat each other well if they’re seriously considering that they’re all friends.

I think that one of the biggest issues this show presses on you is about gay rights and gay students. I totally support gay rights, but the show puts all of its anti-bullying eggs in that basket. I understand that that’s extremely in the limelight right now, but the other students being shit on by their classmates who aren’t gay should also probably do something about the fact that everyone hates them. If we’re shooting at our target audience of theater nerds, “Glee”, let’s be more inclusive about all victim groups in high school. This issue of bullying and gay rights leads has a lot to do with my final problem with the show.

5)   Offensive for the sake of being offensive

I feel that because “Glee” is making such strides in making the gay youth of America feel accepted, the creators think they can do and say whatever the fuck they want with the dialogue. Ryan Murphy is literally offensive because he can be, and it’s pissing me off.

The characters are racist as fuck. Almost all of them. It’s almost always brought up that Tina is Asian and that she dated another Asian. Rachel being Jewish is always a point of discussion, and there was an episode about her hating her Jewish nose. They literally called it her Jewish nose. The show HATES gingers with a passion, and after watching other Ryan Murphy shows, I see that’s a trend with him.

I really am a fan of Ryan Murphy’s work, I love “American Horror Story” and “Nip/Tuck”, but I feel that he is much better at making shows that are dramatic with dark comedy thrown in than straight up comedy. He literally gets license to say whatever the fuck he wants because the show has a moral about not bullying and tolerance or some shit being pushed at the end of every episode. If this is true, however, why is it okay for Sue to make derogatory statements to and about Kurt’s sexuality and the fact that he is feminine almost every episode? It just doesn’t make sense to me. For a show that is supposed to be about tolerance and acceptance, there is just so much other offensive shit going on.

And that’s the point, which makes me mad. I read an article saying that Ryan Murphy referred to himself as the “male Lady Gaga”. As unnecessary as it is for that statement to EVER be made by any person ever, all it says to me is that he does shit for shock value, because that’s how I view Lady Gaga. He pushes the envelope as much as he can on every single issue because he wants to and it’s getting so old. His new show, “The New Normal”, is somehow more offensive, and it gets away with it, because for some reason Ryan Murphy doesn’t follow the laws of common decency like the rest of it. I guess it explains why all of his characters think that they’re God when really, their shit stinks just like the rest of us.

So that’s just a glimpse as to why I hate “Glee”. It’s pretentious, obnoxious, the characters are unlikable, the music stopped being even somewhat good, and the plots conveniently always get lost and forgotten. The original ending to this post was about how I knew that I’d be watching “Glee” again on demand the next time I babysat, but I am so extremely overly proud to say that I have not watched the show since September or October, which I know is four years after I should have stopped watching the show, but for someone who has a habit of not being able to look away from car wrecks (this show is a car wreck), I’ve managed for the past few months to keep my eyes straight ahead, instead of cringing at what was beside me on the road (driving metaphors. So deep).

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One Response to “this post used to be much more relevant to my life, but thankfully, i’ve changed my ways”

  1. Liz February 13, 2013 at 11:55 pm #

    HA rolling cliche!

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